Irony Awards: Ron Artest Raps for Abused Women

When the Taliban was temporarily stifled in 2001, a more egalitarian notion of women’s rights took hold in Afghanistan. Women could walk around without burqas; they could vote; they could even escape abusive marriages by seeking refuge in women’s shelters. But having rights didn’t protect them from abuse. According to non-governmental agencies, nearly 90% of Afghan women have experienced domestic abuse. Since Afghanistan is a patriarchal society trapped in the stone age, these stats are really no surprise.

What is surprising, however, is that Ron Artest has come to their defense. Yes, that Ron Artest. The mercurial basketball player with the emotional stability of a bag of rats in a burning meth lab. Over the last few years, he’s become known for strong defense and:

ripping a phone out of press row

smashing a $100,000 camera in a fit of rage

drawing 8 suspensions between 2002 – 2004.

starting a near riot in the Palace at Auburn Hills

neglecting his animals

abusing and confining his wife

running up on Kobe Bryant in Lakers’ locker room shower

being generally violent and insane

Now, he has written and performed a song called “Afghan Girl,” which calls attention to the plight of many Afghan women.

Warning: Video contains uncomfortable and graphic images.

Too many of our athletes and celebrities sit idly on the sidelines even though they have platforms to affect change, so Artest deserves a lot of credit for what he’s trying to do here. The problem, however, is his execution is a hot ass mess loaded to the gills with irony and awkward moments.

Problem 1 – rapping about the horrors of domestic abuse while wearing a wife beater

Problem 2 – rapping about the horrors of domestic abuse when he is, in fact, a convicted domestic abuser

Problem 3 – using horribly misdirected lyrics, which give the impression that he wants to salve the wounds of abuse with his penis. NOT GOOD. (e.g., “I wish I was there so you could feel me/run my fingers through your hair through your hair/caress your face to show you that I care” … “Cupid open up the door. And if you do so, she will want more. If you want it, you know she got it stocked in store.”)

Problem 4 – juxtaposing disturbing images of abused women with shots of him rapping serenely in a park

Problem 5 – rapping with a flow that is as brutal as the subject matter

I know that for Ron Artest, (in)sanity is a rapidly fluctuating continuum, so people might be afraid to speak up when he’s making woeful choices. But sometimes you need to protect a man from himself by putting on your bullet proof vest, helmet and other protective gear and saying, “Hey Ron, I appreciate what you’ve got going on here but let’s find another way. Try speaking to the media, visiting Afghanistan or raising money for awareness. Do anything but rap because bro, you’ve got less than zero skills and listening to you try gives me a massive case of the sads.”