Time Waits For No Man, Unless that Man is Brett Favre
All the props in the world to the New York Football Giants, who managed to resist the temptation to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on Sunday night. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this occurred only because the NFL did not properly communicate the contents of the Favre memo, which I imagine read something like this:
"Look, we’ll crap on the Seahawks, Packers and Cowboys, enabling you to skate relatively unscathed to the Super Bowl if you can do us just one solid — let Favre win. I know you think this is ludicrous but if you look at the big picture, this really is for the best. Remember back in 2002 when he was kind enough to give Michael Strahan the all-time sack record by going down faster than a hooker at a prison rodeo? Well, that’s all we ask you to remember here – pay it forward. He took care of one of your own when that chap needed it most and now, we at the NFL need you to take care of us, and, really, everyone outside of Wisconsin. No more will he or won’t he. No more self-righteous indignation. No more biased, obnoxious commentary. Think about the greater good (and the money we can make), Giants. See ya at Lambeau."
God forbid the Giants cooperate. You know, for a while, I thought they might be on board with the plan; at the very least, Lawrence Tynes was. But I guess there comes a point where you’re just too damn close to keep hooking kicks and you have to send one through. As such, Favre will be back for his 18th season – not because he has anything left to prove or the itch to lead what is likely the best young nucleus in the NFL to the Promised Land is so great, but because he can’t leave the game with such an offensively bitter taste in his mouth.
When a legendary champion like Brett Favre takes his final walk in the sun, he’s supposed to go out in a blaze of glory or die trying, not walk away following a mistake-riddled travesty that he’d rather block out than think about again.
So after 6 months of obnoxious, gratuitous speculation, we’ll see him again and frankly, that just fucking sucks. I’m trying not to be a hater on this one, which is rare for me, but I AM SO SICK OF BRETT FAVRE. And the thing is, it’s not even his fault!
Favre is one of the most admirable sportsmen of the last 20 years and whether he’s throwing 5 touchdowns or 5 interceptions, watching him play is always an absolute joy. But I just can’t handle hearing about him anymore. Not that stories about Adam Jones or Michael Vick are better but the way the media tongues his balls from August to January and then waits around Hattiesburg like lost puppies looking for a bone in the off-season has completely crossed the boundaries of reason. Just the other day, that beached whale Chris Berman actually said, "Cheering for Brett Favre is like cheering for America!" Are you kidding me? I know I’m being selfish and that I’m in the minority on this one but since Favre isn’t going away for at least another season (nor should he, to be honest), is it too much to ask for the media to give it a bloody rest for once? Or maybe, perhaps, can we just call Greenpeace and have Berman towed back out to sea?
I’m sure one of these options is totally within reason.
picture via: citypages.com
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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.
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Where in the fuck have you been!??! Well whatever. I think I’m happier with it this way. Packers/Pats would’ve been a more exciting matchup but can you imagine the press if the Packers had won??? The next 2 weeks would be totally unbearable. I’ll take off-season speculation over that.
Peyton Manning will be out of the league and Favre will still be really havin fun out there
Favre deserves so much credit for resurrecting a career that was dead on the water but how long ago did everybody (that wasn’t drinking Favre kool-aid) think he was the biggest dick in the NFL for not retiring? It’s amazing how things shift like that over the course of just a few weeks. Aaron Rodgers should head out to Oakland.. I’m sure they’ll have an opening this time next year
And it’s about time you got back with us!!
Sick of Our Lady of Green Bay? You’ll regret it! Packer fans wearing #4 jerseys and face paint have tracked this post and are coming to your house right now to smack you down.
I can’t stand the guy. There’s no denying that he’s a legend but the way he’s handled himself with Green Bay and Aaron Rodgers over the last couple years has really soured me on him. Being great doesn’t give a person the right to act like a selfish ass.
I know this is off topic, but it sure is fan fuckintastic to wait 10 years and finally beat arse. Come on you Spurs back to Wembley.
One of these days Bermans gonna pop on air. I don’t think his skin has much give left.
thumbs down on you Bob. That comment was highly unappreciated. but I’m gonna be a good sport about this and hope you enjoy your final because hey, even the sun shines on a dog’s ass from time to time (or once a decade)
Thanks Flash, you know I like the Seahawks and the Spurs and it would seem that I should not like ya, but other then those two things I am a fan of yours. You have a gift, the Bruschi shit in particular.
Hey – did you know the Falcons traded Brett Favre to the Packers? Yeah – me too. I’m reminded of it regularly.
Nonetheless – the interception he threw in OT? I knew it was coming…well, at some point in the playoffs it was. He always has one team crushing pick in his quiver.
Also – little known fact – Lawrence Tynes was born in Scotland. This explains why it took him 3 tries to get a kick right in a meaningful game.
Thank you Bob, you’re too kind.
You know Eric, I don’t think it matters. If Favre stayed in Atlanta, we never would have figured out how to correctly mispronounce his name. The Falcons are talent-sapping wasteland.