Ain’t No Other Man

Is it necessary to explain how amazing Andy Pettitte is or can you figure it out for yourself? Because if you can’t, I will happily make a case! …. Alright then.

Now, I could make a case based on stats or opinions… if I go with opinions, they’d be tainted with bias because he’s my favorite Yankee of all time and I’m also interested in bumping off his wife and replacing her in the middle of the night. But if I choose to go with stats, you’d stop reading. So let’s go to a world where most meatheads like myself fear to tread — science!

Hypothesis: Andy Pettitte is God.

Data: Andy Pettitte doesn’t have the arm strength of Chien-Ming Wang, the arsenal of Mike Mussina or the element of surprise of rookie Tyler Clippard but he doesn’t need it. He comes to the game with a fastball, cutter and an assurance that he’ll die before he lets you down. Unlike Moose, who wets himself these days against the likes of Julian Tavarez, Pettitte brings that Jordanesque "time running of the clock" quality to the mound. Give him the ball when it matters most, and he’ll deliver.

Though he started the season looking like another overpaid oldster with waning skills, Pettitte has since turned on the magic. He’d be the Cy Young favorite right now, sitting somewhere around 6-1 with 8 quality starts in 10, if the bullpen didn’t go all Heathcliff Slocumb every time he was on the mound. True, he’s only struck out 35 batters in 64 1/3 innings (including a mere two against the Sux last night), but he has surrendered just 64 hits and boasts and ERA of 2.66. Some may call it good defense and a little luck but as far as I’m concerned, he’s been nothing short of amazing. And last night, he showed us exactly why he was signed — to beat the Red Sox and prevail after a loss.

A huzzah to you, sir! 

Theory: Andy Pettitte is an angel sent by God to help the Yankees snag the Wild Card.

Okay, that wasn’t remotely scientific but you have to give me points for using "hypothesis" and "theory" in the right order.