Calamity James: Where Are the Gay EPL Stars?
In addition to his fortnightly column with The Observer, David "Calamity" James – current keeper for Portsmouth – has done a little sport blogging for the Guardian. In his most recent installment, he asks where the gay stars are hiding in the English Premier League. Normally, I’d be surprised that any prominent athlete would make such a lengthy statement but this is David James we’re talking about — a straight bloke so secure in his masculinity that he has strutted down Giorgio Armani’s catwalk, modeled for H&M, and painted nude portraits of his teammates. If anyone in the EPL has the stones to write 2,000 words advocating for the tolerance of gay athletes, I’d place him at the front of the line.
James handles the issue in the context of general celebrity, thinking that if you can be out and proud in other forms of entertainment, then why not sport as well? If 1 in 10 people are gay, there should be at least one on every starting XI and at least a couple per team. And if those statistics hold true, there should be some gay or bisexual stars in our midst. As such, he asks:
Why should football be different? Are football fans really so incapable of watching a gay player without abusing him?
Hmm… let’s see here, Calamity. We are a sport with teams supported by psychotic, racist hooligans that actually travel for the specific purpose of physically assaulting opposing fans. We are a sport where a multitude of fanbases find it acceptable to bellow "paki" and "death to Arabs" chants, make Nazi salutes, and hoot monkey sounds and toss banana peels every time a player of African descent touches the ball. Gee, I wonder why a homosexual would be in fear of coming out. Sure, players aren’t getting covered in boot polished and hided anymore but all the same, this isn’t the figure skating crowd.
That said, all of these negatives certainly haven’t stopped Cristina Ronaldo. If only more players could have such courage. Louis Vuitton manpurse, snakeskin Prada belt, frosted tips, and an eye for the goal.
Bravo, Cristina. You’re a bloody pioneer…
Hat-tip: Can’t Stop the Bleeding
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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.
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One day Arsenal is gonna buy this asshole and you’re gonna kill yourself
People blame Beckham for that whole metro footballer thing but it all starts with David James. He’s so damn old these days that it’s hard to remember
The pics are priceless though, btw
how does a sport with so many metrosexual pretty boys have such vile fans? doesn’t make sense.
That doesnt’ make any sense. The only “sport” where the participants are anything like the fans is probably in NASCAR. That doesn’t happen in any other prominent sport that I can think of.
And golf, too
This James guy seems totally surprised that no gay player would want to come out but he also thinks that racism is solved. He should prolly wait to get all his ducks in a row before he tries to sound like a wise guy.
Ya know woman for somebody that hates Ronaldo so much you seem awfully obsessed.
Just a thought
Why doesn’t Calamity come straight out (no pun intended) and just ask Judas Campbell?
Oh and you forgot Ljungberg in those pics Flash ;¬)
As long as Freddie’s a Gooner, you won’t hear a negative word on his ultra-metroness out of me. But if he betrays us and heads to YOUR neck of the woods, then I may have cause to get vindictive.
We seem to be missing the more important issue here. Of all the football players in all of the UK why did the Guardian see it fit to choose Calamity James?
They likely had no choice. The majority of footballers either don’t want to talk about this, don’t care, or would spew venom if they did. James is the only chap sensitive to the issue that can also string together words to form sentences and sentences to paragraphs.
I thought I heard a story of an EPL player coming out and then killing himself after he did it. Is that true?
Hadrian – that would be Justin Fashanu, though I think it was more to do with fessing up to going out with Julie Goodyear.
As for Calamity James he’s now gobbing off about performance related pay, well if he’s that much in favour he should hand back every penny he got while wearing an England shirt.