The Psychology of Perspectives
Sometime last week, a friend asked if I’d consent to an interview with a boy writing a paper about the psychology of perspectives. Now, I like to think that I’m reasonably intelligent, so I can surmise a definition for the phrase but who knows what, if anything, it actually means.
Truth be told, the psychology of perspectives sounds like a phrase one dreams up when hoping to earn an "A" based on the strength of the paper’s title. And with one look at "Bret with one T," my suspicions were confirmed.
He made his presence known by knocking out "shave and a haircut" on my office door. Our building is bursting at the seams with testosterone and masculinity. Floating in like with musical tunes doesn’t fly too well in a place like ours but I doubt he’d taken that into consideration.
Actually, I’m certain of it.
"Bret with one T" wore a navy Oxford and a Mogador Stripe tie under a lambswool argyle vest and well-pressed charcoal wool pants. His shoes were even shined.
I sensed a touch of the fabulous in him.
After muddling through the superficial niceties, the interview was underway and I spent the better part of ten minutes answering questions about my family, background, and random details of my past. But soon enough, things took a negative turn, as I got peppered with questions so astonishingly ignorant, that the situation reeked of set-up.
BWOT: You’re of mixed racial, ethnic, and non-American heritage, which must be pretty crazy to deal with on its on, let alone stuff like this.
Me: Excuse me?
BWOT: So what will you do on Thursday?
I said something about protesting the obesity epidemic. But instead of sharing in the laughter, BWOT nodded his bloody head, wrote it down, and asked if the rest of my family had plans. When my mouth fell open, he launched into a detailed narrative of his family’s magical Thanksgiving experiences. Apparently, mine had none of its own.
If you ask "Bret with one T," we savage, un-American beasts known as the Family Warner, spend Thanksgivings huddled around a kerosene heater in an abandoned shack. While we fight to stay warm and keep our wits about us by thinking back to the days when our people roamed the American Southwest or of the good times had across the pond, the rest of the country merrily feasts on turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie (with Cool Whip) in celebration of the New World.
After a few minutes, he asked, "As a Native American with a mother who is not even American, how does that make you and your family feel?"
At that point, the psychology of perspective was officially mocking me.
I did my best to calmly explain that despite its origins, my family, like most, treats the day as one of gratitude; we leave the rah-rah Pilgrim routine for the Macy’s Parade.
Well this pissed him off and he got indignant with me. By failing to be offended by the celebration of Thanksgiving as the beginning of white dominance, I was betraying my bloodline. All the pain and struggle and death and this is how I repay them. "You know you could be on a reservation and here you are in this incredible place!"
…
Have you ever gotten so angry, so unbelievably enraged that you became paralyzed by your emotions? Your neck burns, your hands shake, your heart is beating out of your chest. And yet, you’re motionless. It’s not that you’ve grown into an angered calm that often rears its head in cases of coldly calculated violence. In a situation like this, you simply haven’t the ability to move.
That was me. Ten minutes or ten seconds, who knows how long it lasted. And ya know, I could have handled the questions. No matter who you are or where you come from, you have to suffer this from time to time. So it’s no surprise that a sheltered buffoon whose sole expertise lies in matching knits and patterns would have such absurd ideas.
But to bash me with PC bullshit because I don’t feel guilty about giving thanks for blessings while enjoying a good turkey, baked mac and cheese, and rolls with heaping piles of butter?
I went a little crazy.
We exchanged words before he backed out of my office and left. But this experience has left me curious about something — Are some of you wondering the same types of things he was? Am I naive in assuming most people have half a clue? If I am and overreacted, please, please let me know.
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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.
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Sounds like it’s lucky he didn’t have a pair to begin with, or he could have been in some pain.
Good Morning! It’s Sunday 4:43 in the A.M, and this is “Perspectives”! I’m your host Lionel Osbourne. We have a very special guest on our show today, he is Abdul Kareem Gaines, a local community activist, and he is here to talk about the organization that he started after last year’s Million Men March.
what an asshole! right now he is with his family talking about the angry native american. i bet you he didn’t learn a thing.
but what i want to know is does the “went a little crazy” mean you went ballistic and got nose to nose with him or is it more like the “subway incident” crazy? because i dont think I’ve ever been more scared for somebody than when you went crazy on that dude that day
I wondered about that too but I sure as hell wasn’t gonna ask you about it! But if i ever did, I wouldn’t have been a gigantic dick like this guy.
I wonder what BWOT makes of Canadian Thanksgiving? Pretty nervy of us to infringe on that, eh?
I remember being kind of speechless when I discovered that American Thanksgiving has all of that pilgrims-and-noble-savage mythology attached to it. If it starts to get too much for you I recommend an early-October trip to Canada where you can enjoy your Thanksgiving by, well, Giving Thanks.
I’ve already told you this but since I’m Native American I’d like to publicly say that Bret is a moron. Sadly though it sounds as if he’s unaware. Thus, it sounds like he’d be a perfect newspaper guy.
violence shouldn’t used as a weapon against ignorance… but i might understand if you knocked out his teeth, he’d be forced to dropped the “all-important” single t when he pronounces his name
) ….. nah probably not ^__^
question: does that qualify for dramatic irony
The nutter was just trying to a get you all worked up and said that last stupid s**t out of fraustration since you weren’t giving in.
I do however commend you in showing restraint cause I would have gone “Rambo” on the daft c**t’s arse
What’s the subway incident, rob?
I dont know how you haven’t heard of this, Ben. Warner beat a dude fuckin unconcious at the Subway a couple blocks from campus a couple years ago. rob had to carry her out.
Canadians celebrate thanksgiving?? how did i never learn that?
wow, Flash, you’re very exotic looking… was your dad a GI?
Come on! Uphold our family honor, track that bastard down, and drill him in the face!
Damn, I feel bad about sending that joking email on Thanksgiving. That said, you’ll have to relay the Subway story someday. Beating someone unconscious has to make for a good story.