I Wish Dwyane Wade Spelled His Name Correctly
So the Heat pulled it off – congrats to them. I didn’t have a clearcut favorite, so when the game was coming to a close, I spent most of the time focusing on my various petty dislikes (and baseless likes) of various players and using that as reasons to cheer for one side or the other.
First, I wanted to see Shaq get another ring because I hate Kobe Bryant.. but oh look, Gary Payton’s on that team! That wanker can go fuck himself! Go Mavs! Oooh, Alonzo Mourning, I’ve loved him since his rookie year. What a great person he is. Go Heat! Mark Cuban really deserves this. Plus, it’d be hilarious watching David Stern hand over the trophy. The old man would probably say “fuck it” and leave the arena with it before the ceremony. Go Mavs! Aww but Dwyane Wade! He’s such a great guy – like Mourning.
Even if his commercial about falling 7 times and getting up 8 makes no sense whatsoever and he does spell his name wrong [that spelling doesn't even make sense!! How do you mess up Dwayne? It's like me spelling my last name Wraner and having the nerve to pronounce it Warner as if nothing was out of place. That's not allowed! At first I thought his spelling was some typo but nope - he's actually Dwyane, Jr., which means he's the 2nd generation of not doing it right. Even Shaquille's name is spelled in a way that you'd expect and his name is ridiculous!!], can we hold that against him?
Needless to say, I’m an idiot and after the game, I’m pretty sure I flipped over to the Golden Girls and sat around with Matt trying to figure out what re-re headlines would show up on ESPN and CNNSI – I went with Hot Hot Heat. ESPN went with Hot Flash… should’ve known. In any case, check out my update at SportsbyBrooks where I get witty and/or catty about:
I’ll be back kids. You don’t really think I’d let the England-Sweden match go without whining and crying in an agony of hopeless grief like the hypercritical limey I am, do you?
9 Comments
Disclaimer
I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.
Subscribe
Recent Comments
Pit Stops
Categories
Archives
Extras
I suppose Dwyane can be Dwyane if Favre can be Favre…fair’s fair. I actually forgot this game was even on last night. lol Too much cold medicine for me…
That’s a great bush trimming job that they’ve done on the stadium as well
I’ve been staring at that damn stadium for an hour and I still can’t find the clit! This is highschool all over again
vajayjay?
Nice.
As for caddychicks.com, I heard Zeb’s old FWB, Jackie, is on there but I haven’t found her.
Hopefully we get to hear “Coming to you live from The Snatch” when track and field gets rolling in 2008.
Cuban was pretty classy last night after the Heat won. I was honestly surprised. Anyone know if he’s blown up his blog yet with another ref complaint?
He probably won’t freak out until he’s paid the most recent fine. He also needs time to review the tapes just to confirm that the conspiracy is on, then he’ll be back with more stuff.
I dunno, Erik. The likelihood that some backwoods, barely literate ancestor of his drank too much moonshine, wrote it down wrong, and never noticed the error is pretty high. Plus, Favre isn’t a common name, so how are we to know for sure?
But the same can’t be said for a name like Dwayne. Every English speaking person knows a Dwayne or a Wayne… it’s not like there aren’t other examples to call on if you just don’t know.
Alonzo Mourning is a horrible person. Not only did he start fights against Larry Johnson and Jeff Van Gundy, but he stole a kidney from a more deserving young child. Fuck you Mourning. You have disgraced Georgetown University.