Happy St. Totteringham’s Day, Hotscum!
A week ago, I was inconsolable and had, admittedly, lost my way. As proud as I was of the squad for reaching the Champions League finals, I was equally as frightened that we would finish behind Tottenham in the Premiership.
While my hopes aren’t through the roof against Barca, our position left us short on insurance, as the Gunners trailed the cunts of Tottenham by 7 points. Barring a monumental collapse, the Arsenal would not finish fourth in the Premiership, setting in motion a series of disastrous events: No automatic Champions League bid –> Henry signs new contract with Barca –> additional maddening yet random unfortunate events –> 30 Years of Tottenman-esque Purgatory.
To make this melodramatic possibility a reality, all Spurs had to do was best a team that had nothing to play for. They’d qualify for Europe’s premier competition for the first time in 44 seasons and the Arsenal would be left with fuck all. But on a day for romanticists, dewy-eyed sentimentalists, lovers of the beautiful game, and conspiracy theorists, Arsenal’s delight became Tottenham’s misery.
Spurs were dreadfully flat against West Ham after 10 players suffered food poisoning off bad lasagna. Just 10 minutes in, their day went from bad to worse, as Carl Fletcher smashed a superb opener to put the home side in the driving seat. But an equally stunning Jermain Defoe strike saw Spurs level just after the half hour and for a while, it seemed like those rotten cunts would pull it off.
But with 10 minutes remaining came the moment that killed the dream. It was a goal of exquisite beauty where Nigel Reo-Coker backheeed Shaun Newton’s pass on for Yossi Benayoun, who skipped past Michael Dawson before slamming his finish into the top corner. While Hotspur’s world was falling apart, the Arsenal played trademark football that saw Thierry Henry - the greatest striker to grace Highbury’s pitch – fire home the ninth treble of his Gunners career. All that was missing from the action was a goal for the retiring Dennis Bergkamp, who came on near the end and almost provided the icing on the cake with a wonderful chip.
We’re now off to Paris with a place in next year’s Champions secured while Spurs will again lament what could have been. I can’t imagine a sweeter, more dramatic way to bid farewell to the marble halls of Highbury, to the Clock End, the North Bank, and Herbert Chapman’s bust, than a night like the last. I’ve been attending Arsenal matches since I was a tot and Highbury is the home of some of my greatest memories; I couldn’t be happier to see her distinguished 93-year history end on such an appropriate note.






What is St. Totteringham’s Day?
St. Totteringham’s Day is the day that it is mathematically impossible for Tottenham Hotspur to finish above The Arsenal in the Premiership table. The day has been celebrated since the League was created in 1993, with the exception being the 94/95 season when the Arsenal suffered unusual hardships and finished 12th to the Scum’s 7th. Usually, St. Tott’s happens long before now but the nasty cunts decided to make things difficult this year.
So who poisoned the lasagna? Warner has an alibi, so I kind of assumed it was Shiloh
Shiloh just went to that hotel to call them cunts while they were throwing up
Al credit to Henry, but the greatest striker to grace Highbury’s field? First, Im assuming you mean play for Arsenal and not the greatest out of all strickers ever to play there. Second, Henry has won many trophies and he is a great player of the sport, but shouldnt we hold on with the all-time awards just yet. IMO Bergkamp was just as unsettled as Henry in Italy (but still won a UEFA Cup), and has over his entire career at Arsenal won more than Henry has at this point. Also, Bergkamp was also slightly more successful prior to playing in Italy winning the UEFA cup with Ajax, while both players won a national championship with Ajax and Monaco respectively. Henry, on the other hand, has a WC cup and a EC cup from the national squad whereas Bergkamp didnt debut until 1990 – two years after Holland won their only trophy to date. Then again, Bergkamp is creditted as being part of the “continental wave” that succesfully influenced the Premier league along with the likes of Cantona, Asprilla, Zola, Schmeichel etc.
Either way you look at it, I think the vote is still out on greatest stricker ever. Oh, and this is all without bringing Ian Wright and Ted Drake into the equation.
I’d love to see the score one-all in Paris next week with two minutes left and Dennis the menace coming on to score the deciding goal. That would be some legacy.
That’s rubbish. First on Bergkamp – I love him and he has had a great career but to mention his skill in the same breath as Henry is folly and to anyone that actually knows this squad, that comment is pure madness.
Thierry Henry is the best Arsenal striker to play at Highbury, hands down. He surpassed Wright with all-time goals playing for the club with remarkably similar stats, he’s far more versatile than Wright ever was (Henry creates from ANYWHERE, inside and outside the box. Wright waited in the box for the goods – even Wright is quoted as saying so), he’s won the Golden Boot 4 times, he’s won the World Cup. He studied Ian Wright, incorporated what he saw into his game, and then bested a hero. Ian Wright is one of the greatest to ever suit up and likely the greatest Briton to do so, but Henry is simply different class.
I’ve been watching Arsenal for 22 years and Henry is the best striker I’ve ever seen put on a shirt. Ian Wright is one of my heros but Henry is unmatched.
I’m saying nothing
But at least Henry isn’t a snide dirty cunt like Bergkamp, oh and come on Barca ;�)
Bollocks, Toxic. They’re both cunts but Henry is still brilliant and clearly the tops of Highbury. I’d give anything for him to be a Villan.
@ van Cutsem: I just don’t see how you can tally up a players career when its not finished? And also, would you not agree that Bergkamp’s pre-Arsenal record is better than Henry’s?
@ Cullen Barker: Having watched Arsenal for 22 years (whic I havent), how would you rate Bergkamp’s impact when he came into the league as opposed to Henry’s impact on the league. IMO Bergkamp’s impact (along with the other players I mentioned above) moved the Premier league towards a more continental style and helped make the premier the best and most entertaining league in the world.
We’re not talking about whole careers here, Tom, so I’m not clear on why Bergkamp should enter the discussion. We’re talking about the best striker in the history of Arsenal. This is not to include Henry’s or any other player’s time at other clubs. The test is – how brilliant were you when you were a Gunner, and in his short career, Henry has already surpassed the Arsenal greats in brilliance. We can use Michael Jordan as an example. There was a time when you couldn’t yet make the case that he was the best player (or even the best guard) the NBA had ever seen. But even when there were many years left in his career, he’d already reached a point of greatness that you could accurately claim that he was the best GUARD in Bulls history. It’s the same for Henry. Like Barker, I’ve been watching Arsenal for 20+ years. I lived and breathed Wright. I loved his greatness. But I’ve watched Henry with equal intensity and clearly see that Wright’s greatness as an Arsenal striker has been surpassed.
Tom, what’s with the hard-on for Bergkamp? He was at his best in the mid-90s, peaked in 98, but he was never on Henry’s level with any consistency. It’s pretty clear that you’re letting your bias get in the way of reason.
Henry
- European Golden Boot: 2004, 2005
- FA Premier League Top Scorer: 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006
- Arsenal Top Scorer: 1999/00 – present
- Onze d�Or: 2003
- FWA Footballer of the Year: 2003, 2004, 2006
- PFA Players’ Player of the Year: 2003, 2004
Bergkamp
- English PFA Players’ Player of the Year: 1998
- English FWA Player of the Year: 1998
- Goal of the Season Award: 1998, 2002
- Arsenal FC Player of the Year: 1998
- FIFA Player of the Year: 1997
Even on paper it’s not even close.
“If you look at the whole package, with everything Henry has, I don’t think you can find that anywhere else. You give him the ball in the right place and his acceleration will take him past any defender in the world.” – Dennis Bergkamp
Van Cutsem, I read as whole career. My bad. I disagree with measuring a players career when he (or she) is still active, but that’s my point of view. Goldie’s tally is only for Arsenal, again my argument was for total career – club and national. Bergkamp is not only playing his last game for Arsenal, but on professional level. A reflection of a players contribution to the game at the end of a career should involve reflecting over more than just his achievement’s for the last club he played for. Even if his greatest achievements are for that club.
Those things can’t be compared because both players entered the league in entirely different situations and atmospheres. A question like this is similar to asking who was more influential, Babe Ruth or Jackie Robinson? Babe Ruth turned the game of baseball on its ear, ended the dead ball era, and changed baseball into a power hitters game. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and brought the electrifying style of the Negro leagues to the game. So which man did more? Both sides can be argued but there can be no true conclusion. The same is said for your question.
Bergkamp’s influence begins and ends with the lifting of the Heysel Ban, which is hugely important and will never be forgotten. It took him some time to settle and though he was very good, he failed to truly come into his own until Wenger (who truly revolutionized the English game) arrived in 1996. He only stayed in top form (a time when he was called the best foreigner ever to play in England) until 1998. He was a pioneer who, at Arsenal, was a true master for 3 years and somewhere between good and very good for the rest.
Henry, on the other hand, turned the league on its ear from the start. When Bergkamp arrived, I was excited about the type of football he played. But when Henry arrived, I was mystified at the type of player he was. He is a jaw-dropping talent that has forced Premiership teams to adjust their styles and lineups simply to account for his presence. Only in Bergkamp’s best year could he command that type of attention. Henry put Arsenal on his back this spring and carried them to the CL finals AND into 4th on the league table when hope was lost. That is something Bergkamp couldn’t have pulled off, even in his prime. That is impact.
I choose Henry as the more influential beginnings (as shown over time) because it wasn’t JUST Bergkamp in the continental wave. That impact ought to be shared between Cantona and Zola as well.
Total career, club and international, worsen your case. On the surface, there are similarities between the two players. Bergkamp was a star of Ajax and Henry of Monaco. Bergkamp struggled at Inter and Henry at Juve. Both came into their own at Arsenal. But when you dig deeper, it is simply not the same path.
Beavis was the king of Ajax from 1991-93 and was the best in the Netherlands, but he never dominated Europe. The closest he came was Euro 92 where he played well but certainly didn’t take the league by storm. Henry, however, starred at Monaco and was the top scorer for the French in the 1998 World Cup and helped France win the Euro 2000 and the Confederations 2003. Bergkamp had an abysmal 50 games in 2 years at Inter. Henry had 16 games at Juve before transferring. We’ve already spoken on Arsenal careers.
Even if you look at Henry’s to date vs. Bergkamp’s total, Henry is still the winner. His career thus far is better than Bergkamp’s 16 year campaign.
You are most certainly clouded by bias.
So Michael Jordon is the best player in Wizards history? Maybe this is Bergkamp’s son or something. I just don’t see how it’s close.
Cullen Barker, thanks for your insight in terms of impact. I can’t go toe to toe in terms of your arguments, because I didn’t follow the premiership in Henry’s first years close enough to do so. (premiership switched to cable, I didn�t). But your insight is appreciated. I can only again refer to previous posts. I understood it as total career. I question the methodology for assessing greatest �striker to grace Highbury�s field� and suggest �In my opinion� that Bergkamp could also be considered for this honour. This was with the understanding of greatest striker looking over the entire career, which in Henry�s case isn�t finished. That was my argument. Going back and forth in terms of stats, honours and their significance suggests that Bergkamp could indeed be considered. Look, I never stated Bergkamp is the greatest Arsenal striker, I mention him � just as I mention Wright and Drake � to point out that others could also be considered for this. My whole grievance is with tallying up a player�s achievements when he hasn�t retired. For instance, I (I) think athletes� achievements diminish in value, when they are exposed as uses of performance enhancing drugs after that achievement has been accomplished. I mention this as an argument for not assessing an athlete during his career. I do NOT believe Henry is doing anything illegal, but I also can not look into the future.
And I understand your point, Tom. But though it’s true that Bergkamp can be CONSIDERED for greatest striker ever at Highbury, the simple fact is that he is not and never was. That is the point we are trying to get across to you.