Do Dirk Nowitzki’s teefuses remind anyone of Matt Dillon’s capped job as Pat Healy in “There’s Something About Mary” or is it just me?
The World Cup tv schedule has been released. Even if you don’t like soccer, jump on the bandwagon and use the U.S. vs. Czech Republic match on June 12 as an excuse to take a 4-hour lunch.
In other World Cup news, health experts are giving warnings that cardiac arrests, wife-beating, binge drinking, smoking, and suicide surge during the world’s most-watched sporting contest. During the ’98 World Cup, the number of heart attacks in Britain rose by 25% when England lost to Argentina in a penalty shootout. According to a study in the British Medical Journal – compared with admissions for the same day in previous years – 55 more people were treated for a heart stoppage. It seems that depression, violence, and self-harm are also well-known outcomes of football matches and they peak during World Cups… maybe I’ve finally found a valid excuse to do all the nasty things that I’ve been dreaming about these many years…
Some guy went nuts on an airline the other day and was restrained by none other than Dr. 90210 himself (I don’t know who this guy is but the article seems to indicate that he’s tres cool). The crazy hopped out of his seat in coach and marched into first class about 15 minutes before the flight was going to land. The passengers watched the madness unfold for quite some time but when the hostile pushed a stewardess, Dr. 90210 sprung to action. “When you get a black belt, at that stage your brain just clicks into action. I restrained this gentleman in a very aggressive way without hurting him.” Very impressive. Too bad he used his kah-rah-tay to take down a “very frail” 80 year old man whose only weapons were probably a bottle of Metamucil and a pair of Depends. Someone needs their brain to click into action and kick Dr. 90210 in the teeth. Stupid bastard.
11 Comments
David Foster23/05/2006 at 15:42
Hmmm. I can kinda see the resemblance. You need a pic of Nowitzki head on!
The problem with this is that you’re already doing all the nasty things you dream about. You can’t start using the World Cup as an excuse NOW
Sorry about your aunt also. Have a safe trip!
monkey23/05/2006 at 22:35
that Dr 90210 guy is a twat. his only contribution to mankind is making really big nice boobs. i guess that redeems his twatness.
A.J.24/05/2006 at 00:00
haha I’ve noticed Nowitzki’s horseteeth too but I always thought he was wearing a mouthpiece. But I looked him up and every picture he’s in, he’s got Pat Healy goin on
Julius24/05/2006 at 01:39
Ahhh, so your great-grandfather is where you get it!
Silver24/05/2006 at 08:39
That’s a pretty dick move on your great gramps part but at the same time, I have to admire the set of balls it’s gotta take to do it
Brendan24/05/2006 at 15:30
Nowitzki: Really, it’s only a side thing for my true passion.
Mary: And what’s that?
Nowitzki: I work with retards.
Yeah.. that can work
That is a great story about your great-grandparents … at some point I am going to start thinking that you are making this shit up, though.
Shiloh25/05/2006 at 04:10
Natalie calls him Uncle Sean but she’s the only one; he’s been a right creep this week.
braylon26/05/2006 at 20:41
dont give her ideas JJ. she’ll be usin that shit as an excuse next. “i couldnt help it. im genetically predisposed.”
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Hmmm. I can kinda see the resemblance. You need a pic of Nowitzki head on!
I think it’s just you.
The problem with this is that you’re already doing all the nasty things you dream about. You can’t start using the World Cup as an excuse NOW
Sorry about your aunt also. Have a safe trip!
that Dr 90210 guy is a twat. his only contribution to mankind is making really big nice boobs. i guess that redeems his twatness.
haha I’ve noticed Nowitzki’s horseteeth too but I always thought he was wearing a mouthpiece. But I looked him up and every picture he’s in, he’s got Pat Healy goin on
Ahhh, so your great-grandfather is where you get it!
That’s a pretty dick move on your great gramps part but at the same time, I have to admire the set of balls it’s gotta take to do it
Nowitzki: Really, it’s only a side thing for my true passion.
Mary: And what’s that?
Nowitzki: I work with retards.
Yeah.. that can work
That is a great story about your great-grandparents … at some point I am going to start thinking that you are making this shit up, though.
Natalie calls him Uncle Sean but she’s the only one; he’s been a right creep this week.
dont give her ideas JJ. she’ll be usin that shit as an excuse next. “i couldnt help it. im genetically predisposed.”