$1000 Mint Juleps & Tom Brady’s Mancrush

After exposing myself as a fool yesterday (in many parts of my life, not just here), I don’t know how many of you are still reading but for the returnees, thanks for coming back

I don’t have much for you this morning but I’m in the middle of creating a homemade mint julep in celebration of the 132nd running of the Kentucky Derby (this simple sugar bull is taking some time) and will report on that success (or failure) later. For now, you can catch all of my one liners and opinions at SportsbyBrooks.com where I wax poetic on such matters of import as:

The Cruzin Cooler – the safest way to drink and drive

Brian Billick and a toddler team up to snag Steve McNair from the Titans

When Tom Brady gets advice from Doug Flutie, the old man also treats him to a Werther’s Original

Who knew Knute Rockne, Jim Thorpe, Pop Warner, and Tad Jones were ever in the same room together, let alone signing footballs as a group?

Like Britney Spears, Jennie Finch condems her unborn child to a life of dipping Skoal

and many more…

*UPDATE: I’ve been to the Derby many times and have had a couple mint juleps since turning 21. Though I’m usually a big fan of nearly anything that leaves me with impaired judgment and a strong desire to get naughty, the julep might be the last thing on my list of ways to get to that place. Having said that, I’ve never made one myself, so I figured why not — maybe I can discover a hidden talent for making the drink NOT taste like fermented mare strained through a rugger’s jock.

I went to derbypost.com and got instructions for The Official Call to the Derby Post Mint Julep. Since I respect myself, I had a bottle of Maker’s Mark on hand and after picking up some mint from the gourmet place and a cup of shaved ice from the snow cone place down the way, I set to work. Once complete, I got started on MY version of the $1000 Julep that I listed on SbB; the primary ingredient was peppermint discs. Here’s my call:

The Official Call to the Derby Post Mint Julep

Ingredients: Approximately 10 sprigs of fresh mint, 2 cups of natural spring water, 2 cups of granulated sugar, crushed ice, 1 bottle of Maker’s Mark

Thoughts while creating: “Being in possession of sprigs of fresh mint makes me feel like a douchepump.” “Why can’t crushed ice be the norm? I hate giant cubed ice.”

Verdict: Ehhhhh. While it doesn’t taste like Robitussin, all I can think is that I just ruined a good glass of Maker’s Mark. Thumbs down.

Flash’s $1000 Mint Julep

5 Peppermint discs, 2 cups of tap water, 2 cups of Domino sugar from the cupboard, crushed ice, Fifth of Jim Beam

Thoughts while creating: Nothing. Totally blank.

Verdict: Mmmmm. It tastes like a shot I did a few times in a row called a Flaming Eskimo.. Rumple Minz, Jim Beam, and a touch of fire. The biggest plus is that it’ll get me exactly where I want to go and I didn’t have to set $1000 in cash on fire.

Total Cost: $9.89

Clearly, Flash’s $1000 Mint Julep is the winner (what’d you expect?!).