Of Course Mickelson Won
Since I called the guy out, I probably owe it to you to close the latest chapter in my book, Phil Mickelson Sucks It. I’ll try not to be completely obnoxious, which means this will be really short:
Phil Mickelson proved my point and won the Masters over the weekend thanks to his magical, no-effort clubs. He played well, this is true. But I believe he blew away the field on the final 18 for a reason… while the rest of the world’s best were struggling against an unbelievably difficult, mentally taxing course, Philthy was swinging easy and free. It’s a lot easier to command a course when you’re one of the most talented golfers in the world and your clubs are doing all the work on the toughest holes. Bravo, Phil.
On a less obnoxious note, I was drafted as a shortstop in the first round of our summer baseball league last night. I’m currently in the hunt for a bat that will help me pull the ball. If anyone has any tips or knows how to create a legal bat like this, please email me. I’d appreciate it 
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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.
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I’m pissed. I had the next pick and you were at the top of our board. We might have to see about a trade.
It’s gonna be a great league this summer but my guys are walkin away with the hardware this year
Where you battin? Leadoff, I assume.
Phil won because of his putting. Tiger hits his eagle puts and Phil folds.
And so much for Ben Wright’s theory that boobs get in the way of golfers.
Forget it Stanley. Heilman’s never gonna trade her.
As for the Masters, I didn’t watch and I’ve been a little out of the loop.. I thought Tiger wasn’t playing this year because of his dad .. ??
haha, when I saw that he won I wondered if you were somewhere having a fit but it looks like you aren’t completely wrecked over it
I think the stuff with Tiger was just pre-tournament speculation but he had every chance to win the tournament. His play away from the greens was incredible but then it was time to putt and he’d fuck it up. Maybe his head just wasn’t in it, who knows.