Nick Lachey Joining College Gameday Crew

Looking forward to College Gameday on ESPN this year? Well you should be! Nick Lachey (Jessica Simpson’s husband for the uninformed) will be joining the Gameday crew to provide his expert analysis on I don’t know what; he’ll also make onsite appearances.

“Nick is a huge sports fan and will add a unique perspective to the show,” said Norby Williamson, senior vice president and managing editor for ESPN. “He will provide wide-ranging, off-the-field features spotlighting the tradition of the game, its fans, athletes and personalities.”

In addition to Lachey, Desmond Howard, a 1991 Heisman Trophy winner from some unknown northern school of tools and asshats and 1997 Super Bowl MVP with Green Bay, will join as a weekly contributor, providing analysis and features.

Now, I’m not gonna bash this. In all my time watching Gameday, I’ve never heard a remotely intelligent insight, so what’s wrong with it becoming more aesthetically pleasing? Nick Lachey is hot, which works for me, and you have to figure that he’ll drag Jessica Simpson to the set every now and again (if anything, to remind people who he is), so that works for most of you! He seems like a relatively normal (read: not annoying) individual, so I don’t see the negatives thus far. But going on ESPN’s rationalization for hiring Nick, why can’t I be a College Gameday contributor? Why can’t I show up onsite and offer shallow, fairly obvious observations? I wanna be a shill and I’m a huge sports fan with a unique perspective! Is the problem that I’d spend a lot of time hurling empties at Chris Fowler while I remind Lee Corso that he looks like Mel Brooks without the talent? Maybe it’s because I’m not banging the hell out of the hottest blonde in America. I smell discrimination. You put me on a set with the Gameday Crew and I assure you good times.